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Practical Tips To Help Grieving Teens

The death of a child is so traumatic that even trained counselors frequently don't know what to say or do. Many youth pastors desperately reach out for help through Group Forum, which I participate in. Because my daughter was killed on a church youth group outing when she was fourteen I can tell you the things that helped my family from first hand experience. However, I am not a trained professional. My knowledge of helping the kids in the youth group is limited to personal experience.

A Parent's Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis - Physical

You hope you'll never need a resource like this but I used this book the first week I got it. The advise and instructions were exactly the right thing to do. I was really glad I had it.

A Parent's Guide to Helping Teenagers in Crisis

You?ve seen it on the news too many times to count. School shootings, adolescent addictions, bullying, eating disorders, depression and suicide, cutting, pregnancy. There is no lack of bad news to be told about teenagers today. Maybe you believe that will never happen to ?my child.? And maybe it won?t. But crises aren?t always the stories that make the evening news. The spectrum of crises an adolescent may face can range from something as (seemingly harmless) as getting caught cheating on a test to dealing with the breakdown of the family, to acting out and getting in trouble with the law. And the reality is that someone they know will likely experience some kind of crisis?and that can affect your teen significantly. Either way, when a crisis affects your teen, wouldn?t you want to be prepared? Rich Van Pelt and Jim Hancock, both of whom have raised teenagers into adulthood and have spent decades in youth ministry and crisis management, bring together their expertise and insight to help you identify and understand what a crisis is and how you can help your teen live and grow through it. Inside, you?ll find practical responses for issues like:Suicidal thoughts or behaviorAccidentsCheatingDeath (of a friend or loved one)DivorceEating disordersHazingPregnancySexual abuseSexual identity confusionSubstance abuse or addictionAnd more? In addition to learning appropriate responses to crises, you?ll learn how to prevent some of these issues, and how to get professionals involved when necessary. Whatever it is your teen is dealing with, your influence in their life is still the most important one. So be prepared to walk them through their crisis with wisdom, compassion, and the tools to help them heal.Rich Van Pelt trains and motivates thousands or educators, professional counselors, and youth workers every year in adolescent crisis intervention. His expertise springs from three decades of youth work and more than 10 years with youth in the Colorado Department of Corrections. He is president of Alongside, a Denver-based leadership training organization, and is national director of ministry relationship at Compassion International. Rich makes his home in Denver, Colorado.As a youth worker, Jim Hancock experienced most of the crises in this book and has helped kids, families, congregations, and schools with crisis prevention and intervention. From his home in Leucadia, California, he applies that experience as a writer and filmmaker (Good Sex, EdgeTV), helping youth workers avert and respond to crisis.


They will need to talk about it:

You must boldly enter into their grief with them. You might be terrified that you'll say the wrong thing, and you might, but, blubbering and crying is never wrong. Listen and cry. Be slow to offer any answers at first. Ask the questions with them. Come before God with your questions, disbelief, and even anger in prayer.

Acknowledge their pain:

Even if the kids were only mildly aquatinted they will feel like this was their best friend and it's happening mostly to them. This may be the first time death has struck close to home. Let them dive into their feelings but keep an eye out for them taking this too far. If needed, you might have to gently apply a dose of reality to shake them out of it.

Life Hurts God Heals Bundle - Physical

Life Hurts God Heals Bundle

The Life Hurts God Heals Bundle includes everything you need to start a healthy Life Hurts God Heals ministry!Life Hurts God HealsLife Hurts God Heals is a completely comprehensive resource you can use to launch and run a ministry specifically to bring healing to these students. It includes all the curriculum you will need for leaders and participants, as well as all the behind the scenes stuff to help with everything from recognizing danger signs in teens to how to get this program up and running in your church.Included are:16 practical resources on starting a Life Hurts God Heals ministryDVD with student testimonies about the Life Hurts God Heals programLeader Guides in PDF and Word formatsStudent Workbooks (13 lessons) in PDF and Word formatsEight 30-minute sermons by Doug Fields in MP3 formatTeaching transcripts of each sermonStudent devotionals and journalsFollow-up support group studyPromotional materials, including sample parent letters, brochures, calendars, and moreAdministrative materials, including welcome signs, consent forms, graduation certificates, and moreEvery element of this resource with the exception of the student testimonies is completely open for you to reproduce and edit for use in your ministry. We want you to be completely empowered and as effective as possible as you reach out to your students in need.Life Hurts God Heals Leader's Video Training KitPacked inside this DVD is a comprehensive training program on how to implement Life Hurts God Heals within your ministry. With over two hours of video training from Megan Hutchinson (Life Hurts God Heals champion), you'll learn how to start your program, support your participants, and work with leaders.Also included is a PowerPoint presentation to help you teach this same material to leaders in your group along with a bunch of reproducible handouts and forms. From day one to long-term health--it's all in here. Grab a copy and get started on your Life Hurts God Heals ministry today!3 Sessions by Megan Hutchinson:Life Hurts God Heals Training Introduction (13 min)Understanding Students in the Trenches (65 min)Leadership and Legalities


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for more articles on these topics:

Practical Tips For Helping Grieving Parents

Articles on
Grief and Loss

Do a Memorial Service just with the group:

Turning their grief into concrete actions is a good step to take. The kids in my daughters youth group attached a helium balloon to the seat she usually sat in at church during our memorial service. This was their way of signifying her place in the group and the lose they felt. They also did a balloon release. The balloons carried their thoughts, Bible verses, and good byes on little stickers. During their next several mid-week meetings they made a plaque and a giant poster that hung in the youth garage for many years.

They needed to talk to us:

The kids wrote their favorite memories of Catherine, assembled copies of any photographs they had of her and presented them to us. One teen clung to me and cried on my shoulder until my shirt was soaked. They also needed to tell us their story (or involvement with our daughter, their relationship with her), and know that we valued them.

Kids will feel guilty even if they aren't even remotely connected to the event. They may have spoken a bad word, gossiped, or taken the other side in an argument long ago. Some needed to know that we did not hold anything against them. They needed to hear us forgive them.

 
37914: My Friend is Struggling With . . . Death of a Loved One My Friend is Struggling With . . . Death of a Loved One
By Josh McDowell & Ed Stewart / Thomas Nelson

Through the aid of a gripping true life story, Josh McDowell and Ed Stewart, offers biblical insight and practical instruction on what you and your friends can do when faced with the death of a loved one. But more importantly, you will discover how to experience the comfort, encouragement, and support you need from both God and a friend.
 

A Survival Guide to Working with Students in Pain This book provides a wide range of appropriate interventions and fundamental
people-helping skills

Answering the tough questions:

Kids will need to have answers to the deep questions that the death of someone close brings up. What Happens When You Die? , "Why do bad things happen to good people?", “Doesn’t God love me?”, “Am I being punished?”, “Can’t God protect me from evil?”, “If He can, why didn’t He?”, Is God responsible for evil?”, "Can a person who commits suicide go to heaven?"

Kids will ask you these loaded questions. If you give them the same old rote answers they will turn you off and mistrust whatever you're teaching. If, on the other hand, you prepare a detailed, Biblically supported answer, weather it's a tough answer or not, they will grow to trust you and appreciate your lessons.The point is to tell the kids the truth.

021436X: Disappointment with God

Disappointment with God

In Disappointment with God, Yancey tackles the questions caused by a God who doesn't always do what we think he's supposed to do. Insightful and deeply personal, Yancey points to the odd disparity between our concept of God and the realities of life. Why, if God is so hungry for relationship with us, does he seem so distant? Why, if he cares for us, do bad things happen? What can we expect from him after all? Yancey answers these questions with clarity, richness, and biblical assurance.

 
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