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Helping parents parent well is often the best thing you can do for kids.
Parents of teens are almost the most stressed-out individuals on the planet. The parent/child relationship is strained to the breaking point and resembles a battle zone more than a reflection of Christ's love.
But it doesn't have to be this way.
While a youth pastor or Sunday School teacher can have a pivotal relationship with a teen, the parent/child relationship is by far the most influential relationship in every kid's life. If things aren't right at home you'll have a hard time trying to disciple a kid in your youth group.
Offer the books I suggest below to the parents. Believe me, they'll appreciate it. Nothing endears a youth leader to a parent more than someone who is willing to help them with their biggest challenge.
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Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility By Foster Cline & Jim Fay / NAV Press When they reach their teens, many kids seem to have no clue about making wise decisions - so they make bad ones. How can you raise mature, responsible kids? Foster Cline and Jim Fay show you how to parent "with love and logic." Once you learn to establish effective controls without resorting to anger and threats, your kids will learn to deal with the real world by solving their own problems. And you'll build a rewarding relationship built on love, trust and fun. |
Sometimes the best way to help the teens is to help their parents.
Frequently the biggest obstacle for teens in their decision to follow Christ is the distorted view of God they have as a result of poor role modeling from parents. Everyone wonders why most kids abandon the church once they graduate from college. They are not fleeing the church, they are fleeing their parents. Many kids have been abandoned by a parent, usually their dad, through divorce. These kids find it hard to accept a God who, in their minds, has been portrayed by their dads. Sometimes you'll only be able to reach a kid by fostering some real parenting changes at home.
Parenting Teens With Love and Logic
is a great resource for this. This is the most purchased item thru this website. Parents are desperate. There is also a teen version. This system works. It worked on both my kids. They turned out great. Click on the books below to order.
This awesome DVD is fun to watch and teaches how to discipline without anger or yelling.
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Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood By Foster Cline & Jim Fay When kids hit their teen years, parenting takes on a whole new dimension. As they struggle toward independence and autonomy, some dicey issues emerge. And the real world you want them to be ready for can make you shudder - kids today face life-and-death decisions long before they're on their own. So what do you do? Hover over them so they won't get hurt? Drill them so they'll do the right thing? According to Jim Fay and Foster Cline (Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility), hovering and drilling won't prepare teens for the real world. Because they learn responsibility like they learn everything else: through practice. As a parent, you face no greater challenge - and no greater opportunity - than to guide your children through their teen years toward productive, happy, and responsible adulthood. Parenting Teens with Love and Logic will help you meet that challenge and rejoice in that opportunity. |
Parenting with Love and Logic
Putting into practice the skills of Love and Logic helped us maintain loving relationships with our kids through the tough times.
We believe in this method so much that we now teach these skills to other parents.
To visit the Love and Logic website click on the photo of their sign.
The Space Between: A Parent's Guide to Teenage Development,
from Simply Youth Ministry - simplifying ministry and saving you time!
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Youth Ministry and Parents: Secrets for a Successful Partnership By Leif Kehrwald / Saint Mary's Press Do you every find yourself asking questions like these? How can I connect with parents of teens? How do I get more parents involved in our youth ministry program? How do I get more involved in the lives of parents and families? How do parents impact the faith growth of teens today? How do I effectively and practically partner with parents to nurture the faith growth of teens? How do I assist parents in their role as the primary faith influence in the lives of teens? If these questions cross your mind on occasion, this is the book for you. You will find not only straight-forward, research-based answers but also insights from youth ministers in the field and practical, concrete ways to improve your youth ministry programming. |
Help family members understand each other and learn to give and receive love more effectively.
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Angry Teens and the Parents Who Love Them By Sandy Austin Is your teen mad at the world? Not angry enough to shoot heroin or shoot up the high school. Not angry enough to steal a car or take the principal hostage. Nonetheless, you're having trouble reaching her. Or he's beginning to exhibit some risky behaviors. You sense he or she is running with the wrong crowd. Maybe anger is masquerading as moodiness, withdrawal, loneliness, or shame. When and how should a caring parent intervene? From recognizing the faces, reasons, and roots of anger to addressing it and surviving it, the author shares tips and guidelines garnered from years of counseling kids and parents who were on a collision course but then turned their lives around. This book can be an important first step in an improved relationship with your teenager. |
Written specifically for men, the methods in this guide will sink in and make a positive difference in their marriage relationships.
Dealing with Divorce: I have had groups where almost every kid came from a broken home. The underlying anger, hurt. and mistrust colored every reaction they had to what I did. Understanding the effects of divorce on teens is a crucial skill for today's youth leader. Helping teens deal with divorce might be something you need to spend time doing before you can move on. The book below, by Youth Specialties, may help. There is also a participants guide.
![7887X: Dealing with Divorce Leader"s Guide: Finding Direction When Your Parents Split-Up](http://ag.christianbook.com/g/product/7/7887x.gif "7887X: Dealing with Divorce Leader"s Guide: Finding Direction When Your Parents Split-Up") |
Dealing with Divorce Leader's Guide: Finding Direction When Your Parents Split-Up By Elizabeth Oates / Youth Specialties This curriculum is designed for 12-18 year olds. It helps young people address questions, issues and emotions that arise from divorce, whether it occurred recently or some time ago. The Leader's Guide will help you decide program design, schedule, format, weekly activities, and includes sample letters to send to parents. |
Practical guidance on how to discover and express the teen's primary love
language- the way that he or she will best receive love. It is a tangible resource for stemming the tide of violence, immorality, and despair engulfing many teens today.
Curfews:
The results of a recent survey showed that 85% of teens outside after 10:00 PM on a week night would be in the company of others who were drinking and/or doing drugs. In contrast, only 29% of teens outside at 8:00 PM would be in the company of others drinking or doing drugs.
In addition, studies have shown that teens need more sleep than they're getting. On a school night, for junior high age kids, I suggest a 9:00 PM curfew and 10:00 PM bedtime.
Youth Group Leaders: I strongly suggest that any week night activity you plan ends before 9:00 PM.
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Partnering with Parents in Youth Ministry By Jim Burns & Mike DeVries The most powerful force in a young person's life is his family. That's why youth experts Jim Burns and Mike DeVries have written this book, which provides youth workers with everything they need to partner with parents to help them disciple their own children. This fresh approach to youth ministry has biblical roots in Deuteronomy 6:4-9, where believers are mandated to pass their family's faith legacy to the next generations. This book helps youth workers understand their unique role in helping families succeed. It provides an overview of family-based youth ministry which focuses on equipping, encouraging and networking youth workers and parents so they can nurture the spiritual growth of their children. It's also packed with practical ideas--devotion, discussion starters, small-group parenting curriculum, family retreats, parent retreats, games, forums and more--to help youth workers implement this awesome ministry in their church. This is a breakthrough book that will guide youth workers as they reach parents and their children with the message of Christ's love and grace! |
Parents: Make sure your kids see you pursuing your faith. Have a fixed quiet devotional time for yourself every day. Let them see you pray. Share openly your frailties and how God is growing your faith. Have a family devotional time like reading a passage from your family Bible after dinner each evening. Supply them with devotional material that is appropriate for their age group and encourage (don't insist or demand) them to have they're own quiet time. Here is a suggestion for a family devotional.
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Life: A Teen Devotional Ever wonder what Jesus might say to you if you met him on the street? Chances are his message to you wouldn't be all that different from what it was two thousand years ago, even though you live in a totally different world. You can discover what he said--and what it means for you--by reading his words preserved in the Bible. Life offers you 90 short devotions that help you encounter Jesus' words for yourself. Popular author Melody Carlson unpacks the message that Jesus wanted his followers to understand. Then she shows you how it applies to your life during the highs and lows of school, family life, relationships, and more. |
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