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Helping parents parent well is often the best thing you can do for kids.

Parents of teens are almost the most stressed-out individuals on the planet. The parent/child relationship is strained to the breaking point and resembles a battle zone more than a reflection of Christ's love.

But it doesn't have to be this way.

While a youth pastor or Sunday School teacher can have a pivotal relationship with a teen, the parent/child relationship is by far the most influential relationship in every kid's life. If things aren't right at home you'll have a hard time trying to disciple a kid in your youth group.

Offer the books I suggest below to the parents. Believe me, they'll appreciate it. Nothing endears a youth leader to a parent more than someone who is willing to help them with their biggest challenge.

39549: Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
By Foster Cline & Jim Fay / NAV Press

When they reach their teens, many kids seem to have no clue about making wise decisions - so they make bad ones. How can you raise mature, responsible kids? Foster Cline and Jim Fay show you how to parent "with love and logic." Once you learn to establish effective controls without resorting to anger and threats, your kids will learn to deal with the real world by solving their own problems. And you'll build a rewarding relationship built on love, trust and fun.

Sometimes the best way to help the teens is to help their parents.

Frequently the biggest obstacle for teens in their decision to follow Christ is the distorted view of God they have as a result of poor role modeling from parents. Everyone wonders why most kids abandon the church once they graduate from college. They are not fleeing the church, they are fleeing their parents. Many kids have been abandoned by a parent, usually their dad, through divorce. These kids find it hard to accept a God who, in their minds, has been portrayed by their dads. Sometimes you'll only be able to reach a kid by fostering some real parenting changes at home.

Parenting Teens With Love and Logic

is a great resource for this. This is the most purchased item thru this website. Parents are desperate. There is also a teen version. This system works. It worked on both my kids. They turned out great. Click on the books below to order. These techniques will also be effective in your youth group or Sunday school class.

Teaching with Love and Logic; Taking Control of the Classroom  


The Love & Logic methods also work in your Sunday School class.
39306: Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood Parenting Teens with Love and Logic: Preparing Adolescents for Responsible Adulthood
By Foster Cline & Jim Fay

When kids hit their teen years, parenting takes on a whole new dimension. As they struggle toward independence and autonomy, some dicey issues emerge. And the real world you want them to be ready for can make you shudder - kids today face life-and-death decisions long before they're on their own.

So what do you do? Hover over them so they won't get hurt? Drill them so they'll do the right thing? According to Jim Fay and Foster Cline (Parenting With Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility), hovering and drilling won't prepare teens for the real world. Because they learn responsibility like they learn everything else: through practice.

As a parent, you face no greater challenge - and no greater opportunity - than to guide your children through their teen years toward productive, happy, and responsible adulthood. Parenting Teens with Love and Logic will help you meet that challenge and rejoice in that opportunity.
448691: 99 Thoughts for Parents of Teenagers
    Walt Mueller gives 99 simple thought parents overlook. Just $5.99 makes a great gift for every parent.

Rachel teaching Love and LogicParenting with Love and Logicvisit our new bookstore
Putting into practice the skills of Love and Logic helped us maintain loving relationships with our kids through the tough times.

We believe in this method so much that we now teach these skills to other parents.

To visit the Love and Logic website click on the photo of their sign.

The Space Between 

The Space Between: A Parent's Guide to Teenage Development,

897893: Youth Ministry and Parents: Secrets for a Successful Partnership Youth Ministry and Parents: Secrets for a Successful Partnership
By Leif Kehrwald / Saint Mary's Press

Do you every find yourself asking questions like these? How can I connect with parents of teens? How do I get more parents involved in our youth ministry program? How do I get more involved in the lives of parents and families? How do parents impact the faith growth of teens today? How do I effectively and practically partner with parents to nurture the faith growth of teens? How do I assist parents in their role as the primary faith influence in the lives of teens? If these questions cross your mind on occasion, this is the book for you. You will find not only straight-forward, research-based answers but also insights from youth ministers in the field and practical, concrete ways to improve your youth ministry programming.
Angry teenagers are hard to reach. The protective walls they've thrown up are hard to breach. I can't blame them for being angry. In many cases their parents have divorced, ruining the family with self-centerdness. Churches have let them down and no one seems to be paying any attention. Learning to deal with and diffuse a kids anger is key to reaching them. This book is a great resource to increase your understanding of the problem.
153518: The Five Love Languages, Revised Edition, Large Print  
Help family members understand each other and learn to give and receive love more effectively.
Angry Teens and the Parents Who Love Them

Angry Teens and the Parents Who Love Them

Is your teen mad at the world? Not angry enough to shoot heroin or shoot up the high school. Not angry enough to steal a car or take the principal hostage. Nonetheless, you're having trouble reaching her. Or he's beginning to exhibit some risky behaviors. You sense he or she is running with the wrong crowd. Maybe anger is masquerading as moodiness, withdrawal, loneliness, or shame. When and how should a caring parent intervene? From recognizing the faces, reasons, and roots of anger to addressing it and surviving it, the author shares tips and guidelines garnered from years of counseling kids and parents who were on a collision course but then turned their lives around. This book can be an important first step in an improved relationship with your teenager.


473160: The 5 Love Languages, Men"s Edition: The Secret to Love That Lasts
 

Written specifically for men, the methods in this guide will sink in and make a positive difference in their marriage relationships.  

Dealing with Divorce: I have had groups where almost every kid came from a broken home. The underlying anger, hurt. and mistrust colored every reaction they had to what I did. Understanding the effects of divorce on teens is a crucial skill for today's youth leader. Helping teens deal with divorce might be something you need to spend time doing before you can move on. The book below, by Youth Specialties, may help. There is also a participants guide.

7887X: Dealing with Divorce Leader"s Guide: Finding Direction When Your Parents Split-Up Dealing with Divorce Leader's Guide: Finding Direction When Your Parents Split-Up
By Elizabeth Oates / Youth Specialties

This curriculum is designed for 12-18 year olds. It helps young people address questions, issues and emotions that arise from divorce, whether it occurred recently or some time ago. The Leader's Guide will help you decide program design, schedule, format, weekly activities, and includes sample letters to send to parents.

The Five Love Languages Of Teenagers (library Edition)  
Practical guidance on how to discover and express the teen's primary love
language- the way that he or she will best receive love. It is a tangible resource for stemming the tide of violence, immorality, and despair engulfing many teens today.

 

 

975743: Raising a Modern-Day Princess: Inspiring Purpose,   Value, and Strength in Your Daughter  
 

 Help your daughter journey into womanhood with a healthy self-image and knowledge of who she is in Christ!

973097: Raising a Modern Day Knight: A Father"s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood - revised edition  
 

Inside this book, you'll find solid advice to help you courageously lead your son into a biblical masculinity.  

484650: A Parent"s Guide to Understanding Sex and Dating  
 

Parent's Guide
An engaging series of books designed to equip, encourage, and empower parents.

338973: The Sticky Faith Guide for Your Family: Over 100 Practical and Tested Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Kids  

Curfews:

The results of a recent survey showed that 85% of teens outside after 10:00 PM on a week night would be in the company of others who were drinking and/or doing drugs. In contrast, only 29% of teens outside at 8:00 PM would be in the company of others drinking or doing drugs.

In addition, studies have shown that teens need more sleep than they're getting. On a school night, for junior high age kids, I suggest a 9:00 PM curfew and 10:00 PM bedtime.

Youth Group Leaders: I strongly suggest that any week night activity you plan ends before 9:00 PM.

214363: Partnering with Parents in Youth Ministry: The Practical Guide to Today"s Family-Based Youth Ministry Partnering with Parents in Youth Ministry: The Practical Guide to Today's Family-Based Youth Ministry
By Jim Burns & Mike DeVries / Bethany House

The most powerful force in a young person's life is his or her family. The importance of this is pointed out in the writing of the Torah in Deuteronomy 6:4-9, where believers are mandated to pass their family legacies to the next generations.

The newest trend in youth ministry today is a very healthy move toward family-based ministry, a mind-set that helps the church act as a support system, while placing discipleship and training back into the hands of family. Partnering with Parents in Youth Ministry will help youth workers understand their unique role in helping families succeed and will give an overview strategy of family-based youth ministry, as well as practical ideas on implementing this awesome ministry in your church.

Devotions:

Parents: Make sure your kids see you pursuing your faith. Have a fixed quiet devotional time for yourself every day. Let them see you pray. Share openly your frailties and how God is growing your faith. Have a family devotional time like reading a passage from your family Bible after dinner each evening. Supply them with devotional material that is appropriate for their age group and encourage (don't insist or demand) them to have they're own quiet time. Here is a suggestion for a family devotional.

Dt 6:6 "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.
Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home
and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
"

Life: A Teen Devotional

Life: A Teen Devotional

Ever wonder what Jesus might say to you if you met him on the street? Chances are his message to you wouldn't be all that different from what it was two thousand years ago, even though you live in a totally different world. You can discover what he said--and what it means for you--by reading his words preserved in the Bible.

Life offers you 90 short devotions that help you encounter Jesus' words for yourself. Popular author Melody Carlson unpacks the message that Jesus wanted his followers to understand. Then she shows you how it applies to your life during the highs and lows of school, family life, relationships, and more.


Our goal as parents is to handle the day to day realities we face with our kids in a way that maintains our intimate relationships and displays the character we want them to develop into as adults.

Our goal as youth leaders is to foster this environment in our kids lives as best as we are able. We must also be a character witness of the awesome benefits of an intimate relationship with God.

462981: Creative Times with God: Discovering New Ways to Connect with the Savior Creative Times with God: Discovering New Ways to Connect with the Savior
By Doug Fields / Group Publishing

Creative Times With God was designed to introduce a little variety into your times with God. Devotional adventures will ignite your creativity and fire up your passion for knowing God more personally and intimately. Instead of the same Bible time routine every day, here are a collection of activities, readings, meditations, puzzles, etc. to use on your own and show different ways to be connected with the Word and it's author.

You might be closer in age to the kids in your youth group then their parents so helping the parents improve their parenting skills might seem a daunting task. I strongly suggest putting the Parenting Teens With Love and Logic resources into an older volunteer's hands and asking them to teach the class. Christian parenting is an essential part of youth ministry.

Find more of my PARENTING advice at Coconut Mountain Communications PARENT page.

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